2020 Dressed In A Disguise

Hey everybody. Dare I say ‘Happy’ New Year? We have survived the first 17 days of 2021 and completed the 14th Level of Jumanji - so verbal high fives to all of you because it hasn’t exactly been uneventful. My master plan for starting this year was to ease into 2021 real slow without making direct eye contact with it in the hopes that it wouldn’t attack... but Lockdown 3.0, widespread flooding in England and two new highly transmissible strains of Covid later, clearly that approach backfired.

Meanwhile in America, Donald Trump is having a crack at dismantling democracy because things didn’t go his way at the polls so he began messing around with an item that could potentially destroy Capitol Hill, namely; Spotify (which he has since been banned from using). In December Trump began repeatedly bleating fake news via his social media channels which resulted in a PR media nightmare that no one could possibly have anticipated (unless, of course, that person had a higher level of political awareness than a bread roll.) 

The real issue stemmed from him endlessly listening to his Anti-Concession Spotify playlist which includes songs such as ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ by Queen, ‘Eye of the Tiger’ by Survivor, ‘I Am Number One’ by Nelly, ‘All I Do Is Win’ by DJ Khaled, ‘I Am The Champion’ by B.O.B, ‘I Don't Wanna Stop’ by Ozzy Osbourne, ‘I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again’ by Chumbawamba, ‘Break Stuff’ by Limp Bizkit, and ‘Riot Maker’ by Tech N9NE. He got all psyched up by listening to this playlist a thousand times, and then took the last song way too far by provoking many of his followers to go bezerk and march on the White House on the day when Congress signs off the election results in an attempt to overthrow November’s election results by breaking into the building to do truly momentous and politically significant things once inside such as pose for selfies and throw stationary around

The Secret Service could not simply stand by and watch this disrespectful assault on the heart on congress by the forces of idiocy, so they called Channing Tatum to let him know the White House was “down.” But he never picked up. So they were forced to call in S.W.A.T. to swiftly put an end to all their shenanigans because the world’s media was watching and, frankly, having a mob in the White House blowing a metaphorical raspberry at them was decidedly embarrassing. Perhaps now that Trump has been permanently blocked or temporarily banned from all of his social media accounts he could take up a hobby such as axe-throwing or boxing so that he has a positive outlet for his anger that does not ultimately lead to mob riots, criminal prosecution, or the undermining of American democracy.

But yeah, based on the last 17 days, I’m convinced that 2021 is just 2020 dressed in a disguise. We've endured so much rubbish last year that nothing lousy seems to shock or surprise me anymore - if anything, in a strange way, it seems almost normal. Like, at this point, would any of us really be surprised if we started seeing thousands of spiders marching around in perfect military formation on the walls? I'd probably just say, "Yeah, that seems about right," buy a flame-thrower (just in case) and carry on with my day. I hope the rollout of the vaccine signals the beginning of a return to normality for us all, but until then, let’s just continue to expect the unexpected at all times in 2021. Oh, and be careful about what playlists you listen to on Spotify - those things are powerful.