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Showing posts with the label weather

Directing a Synchronized Swimming Team

Many people believe that Fridays are the best day of the week because they’re the start of the weekend. Statistically, Fridays are the best day of the week to ask for a raise and buy into the stock market. If days of the week were people, Fridays would undoubtedly be Chuck Norris. Typically the world is just a better place on Fridays – ‘Thank God it’s Friday’ right? But sporadically a rouge Friday comes along; a bad Friday who has been spending far too much time with insufferable Mondays... Last Friday was rogue. It was cold. So cold, that by comparison the inside of my refrigerator could be accurately described as “somewhat balmy.” And I had a job interview which meant I had to venture outside into the cold to catch the bus. It also meant I was heroically wearing high heels in public – footwear I generally reserve for dire emergencies like a date, or weddings, or death. My walking speed in high heels is drastically reduced. As a result I was running late. So I was scampering do...

Extreme Weather Conditions Made Me Do It!

I recently went on an international flight. I was meant to fly on the 23rd of December but my flight was cancelled due to “extreme weather conditions” at my destination. “Extreme weather conditions” is a term used by airlines when their staff just want to take the day off. It is such an incredibly versatile term that it can be used by anyone in any situation. Allow me to demonstrate:  Mom: Jonny! Why did you hit your sister with a cricket bat?  Jonny: Extreme weather conditions made me do it! University Lecturer: Samantha, where is your final dissertation? Samantha: Extreme weather conditions ate it. CEO: Your honour, I could not fill in my company’s tax returns online for the last 10 years due to extreme weather conditions. In the end, I flew on Christmas Eve. Due to a backlog of passengers created by “extreme weather conditions,” my travel agent advised me to arrive at the airport 5 hours early to ensure I got my seat on the plane. I checked in and spent the ...