Verbal High Fives

I recently moved to a country that (alarmingly!) cherishes wearing fancy dress. I was faintly mortified to realize that the average, hard-working, reasonably rational British citizen will seize every opportunity to embrace the Fancy Dress dress code; eagerly jumping into fancy-dress outfits for New Year parties, Halloween, church socials, staff parties, hen nights, weddings, lunch time, dentist appointments, filling in a tax return etc. This is unfortunate because I believe fancy dress is an outrage against humanity and strongly recommend that anyone suggesting fancy dress themed parties should either be (a.) quarantined or (b.) extradited to Australia. You see, fancy dress violates one of the two fundamental principals that I live my life by: 1.) Never run with a chainsaw 2.) Never look directly at any Lycra-clad area of the human anatomy Because everyone in the business of seeing (including guide dogs) cannot deny the glaring reality that fancy dress places far too high a ...