Verbal High Fives

I am one of the many commuters who make use of the United Kingdom’s public transport system every day. Sure, it sounds somewhat tedious and a tad dull but using public transport – particularly the D bus – recently became a bit of an extreme sport. On Wednesday this week I boarded the D bus outside my office which, unbeknownst to me, was being driven by a fairly "enthusiastic" bus driver (I am using the term "enthusiastic" here more in the sense of ‘slightly unhinged’). He was in his early 20s, wore Oakley sunglasses and had no hair on top of his head. That was because it was all growing out of his ears; he had so much ear hair it looked like he’d snorted a Persian cat. And h e drove the D bus that afternoon with all the passion of a man who had a disgruntled Persian cat in his trousers. I knew the ride home was going to be something special when he floored it before everyone was seated. This resulted in a human pile-up towards the rear of the bus. T ...